Thursday, August 30, 2012

this thing called life.

You know that time in your life where you think, one day I'll have time... when I'm no longer an EFY coordinator, when I graduate, when (fill in the blank). I am coming to the stark reality that that time will never come. Life never slows down, if anything it gets more and more jammed packed. The days of coming home from school and playing outside on the swing set are a thing of the past.

EFY is officially over. I was so excited to have time again. Time to clean my car, time to organize my room, time to train for St George. I got back, created my first to-do list of being back and was shocked how it just kept growing and growing. Two pages later, i realized I needed a time-turner (Harry Potter Style). I had this misconception that life would be less busy after EFY, but I am coming to find out that it is actually more busy.

All of this is to say that there are so many things I want to write about, to document in my life. The lessons I learned this summer, the shock of going from taking care of everyone to being taken care off, starting school, becoming a supervisor at work, training for the St. George Marathon, and all the tender mercies I have seen in my life...but there is just no time. 

Last night as I felt overly exhausted I hit meltdown point- the point where my body was exhausted and I had forgotten to eat dinner once again, which wasn't smart with running and swimming, and I just felt overwhelmed. I had homework standing between me and my bed, a 5:15 am wake up call to do the canyon run with mary, and an 8:00 am to 8:30 pm day on campus staring me in the face. I couldn't handle it, there was too much to do, too much I wanted to do, needed to do, and all I wanted to do was take a day off. I melted down to my roommates (no, there were no tears involve). It was just too much.

Ironic, because earlier in the day I had a conversation with a friend how we can't do it alone, how it is only through the help of our Savior and the Atonement. We talked about how often we want to be perfect now, we set lofty goals and somehow expect we can accomplish them all by tomorrow. 

I am amazed constantly how aware Heavenly Father is of me. He gave me the extra hour I needed. Our staff meeting was canceled today, meaning I had one more hour to get my homework done. I was able to focus and get done what I needed in half the time i thought it would take me. I was able to take a moment and do something I wanted to do. document my life. 

Is my body still exhausted? oh yes. I may or may not have dozed off at work while listening to one of the associates calls- he woke me up. embarrassing? slightly. does my backpack still weigh more than i do? yes. do i somehow feel like I can make it through today- yes! and the best news of all...we have a three day weekend.

this is my reminder to myself to just take life one day at a time. and know its never going to stop, so you just have to do your best and live life to the fullest.

now back to the old grind. 

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