Wednesday, December 5, 2012

next tuesday.

if i can make it to next tuesday- life will be the greatest...

before tuesday...
attend 3 classes
an 8 page paper to finish
a 10 page research paper
a movie report on a movie I still need to watch
reading with a TWA (assignment)
a work christmas party
a ward christmas party
a ward FHE to plan
an two hour essay final to study for and take
A monitoring log to finish
And write-ups to write

after tuesday...
the rest of my finals
frolicking through fields of wild flowers

breathe. tackle the list. stop blogging.

Monday, December 3, 2012

the side effects of being a marriage and family major

remember that one time i freak out a little all the time. and have to learn to not let fear rule my life over and over. i am grateful for a loving and extremely patient heavenly father who is always there.

i sometimes forget i have control of the life i want to have. so as I sit in my classes and learn about dysfunctional relationships and bad practices in marriage and family life- i feel like i am destined to have that life. That somehow I will change and be an overbearing crazy wife and mother. That I will be selfish, or criticize constantly. I see examples around me and think that my life will be just like theirs. This results in me having a slight freak out. I can't do it. Life is so good now- and I will ruin it by getting married. FALSE. so false. dumb satan. I then remember that I am an agent, that I am not an object. I have choice. and I have an amazing marriage prep teacher who has taught us amazing principles this semester. I also am blessed to have someone who will debunk my irrational fears, hug me, and force me to breathe, stop thinking, and tell me that I am not the things I am scared of becoming. I AM SO BLESSED.