remember that one time i freak out a little all the time. and have to learn to not let fear rule my life over and over. i am grateful for a loving and extremely patient heavenly father who is always there.
i sometimes forget i have control of the life i want to have. so as I sit in my classes and learn about dysfunctional relationships and bad practices in marriage and family life- i feel like i am destined to have that life. That somehow I will change and be an overbearing crazy wife and mother. That I will be selfish, or criticize constantly. I see examples around me and think that my life will be just like theirs. This results in me having a slight freak out. I can't do it. Life is so good now- and I will ruin it by getting married. FALSE. so false. dumb satan. I then remember that I am an agent, that I am not an object. I have choice. and I have an amazing marriage prep teacher who has taught us amazing principles this semester. I also am blessed to have someone who will debunk my irrational fears, hug me, and force me to breathe, stop thinking, and tell me that I am not the things I am scared of becoming. I AM SO BLESSED.