insomnia.

I feel like I am falling apart. Literally. My body just aches- it’s the worstest. Last night I was so excited to climb into bed, curl up with my blankets, and have a restful night’s sleep…  I spent the night wide awake. I tried problem solving. First thought- My body needed food. When life gets stressful and busy I forget to eat, and my stomach has been hating me of late. Yesterday my day consisted of a banana and a bagel. So at 1 30 in the morning I made a trip downstairs and had a quick snack. Back up to bed- nutrients in store. No luck. 2 00. Still wide awake. The math started. If I fall asleep now I will get 4 ½ hours of sleep. I switched directions in my bed (my head where my feet were) with the hope that having the wall on the other side would help. It gave me a whole new perspective of my room but no sleep. At 2 30 I resorted to music. Maybe I was just thinking too much. I listened until my computer ran out of battery. No luck. By 3 30 I gave in and got IBprofen. My body was still aching and I couldn’t get comfortable. (side note: I am not a fan of taking medicine when I am sick, I have this thought that if I only use it when I absolutely need it, it will work better…) I am sad to say it didn’t help. I laid in my bed watching the hours tick by. 5 o’clock came. 1 ½ hours if I fall asleep. Thoughts of waking up and going to the gym crossed my mind. What else was I going to do with the extra time? Reality check: Ellie, your body hurts, you didn’t sleep a wink- what in the world are you thinking?! So I laid there and watched out my window as the sky changed colors- I finally accepted the fact that I was not going to sleep. It was beautiful and peaceful. I had no problem getting out of bed in the morning (one advantage to being wide awake all night) and was ready with time to spare. 

Dear body,
You are not allowed to do that again. We need all the sleep we can get. deal?
Sincerely, 
A very weary Ellie