I will admit that in the hustle and bustle of welcoming in the new year with family in Chicago, I failed at writing down my resolutions. A friend told me if you didn't write them down that day they didnt count, i disagree. So while I was a week late I took the time to look at my life, where I am now, and where I want to be come 2013. At church we talked about how goals should be something you want to become not just something to do. Truth it is much better to accomplish a "to do" rather than a "to be" but that why you set small ways to accomplish your goals. Or so i think. major goal. Become who my heavenly father wants me to be. holy huge, right? my guess is it will take a life time to finally accomplish this one. but no better day to start than today.
so i have lots of random thoughts today. excuse to choppiness and randomness of this whole post.
second thought. i've realized I am stubborn. If you had asked my mom she could have told you this years ago. But my stubbornness comes from my want for independence and control over my own life. Heavenly Father has a funny way of getting around my stubbornness. I like to plan my life out. I like security. And I like what's comfortable. But it seems like heavenly father always has something better in store for me. Had I gone with my "plan" two years ago, I wouldn't have met some of my very best friends, I wouldn't have gone to London, I wouldn't have worked another summer with EFY, and wouldnt have learned the same life lessons I have now...the list goes on and on. Heavenly Father just has funny ways of showing me, but I am grateful he loves me enough and knows what is best for me.
last year I went to a devotional with President Holland, Elder Holland's son, at UVU and it was absolutely amazing. He talked about wilderness experiences and the song Lead Kindly Light. With my desire to plan out my life the line "one step enough for me" gets me. i want that to be true, I want my faith in my heavenly father to way out my desire to know what my life holds.
I love love LOVE this video. It is so great for new beginnings, new years, and new adventures. At one pooint someone says something along the lines of "you cant look back, so you might as well live forward in the best way possible." I might have butchered that quote, but its so true. The past is the past, no matter what you do you cant change it. But you have the ability to change the future. You can be constantly getting better, so dont dwell on mistakes of the past, or things you wish you had done better. learn from them, and live for tomorrow.
Sorry for the random musings. I tend to compartmentalize my life. I have my colony life, my batavia life. my EFY life. my mountainwood life. my london life. Which makes life really easy. I tend to not miss people because I dont think about it. It's not because I don't love them, it's just that they aren't normally part of that life. It makes it easy to not dwell on people I miss, but it also makes me horrible at keeping in touch with people. I am the worstest at it.
Oh brother I am amazing at tangents. back on track. winter semester, and why it is so great.
Im in a moral foundations of family life class. and i love it. the professor is perfect. he is old, grey hair, dresses like a professor, and actually knows how to teach. He explains these new concepts of moral agency in a way that makes sense. But what makes the class even better is its application to everyday life. We had an assignment where we had do think of a time we denied a thought to do good, self-betrayal, and what our thought process was. It was amazing to look back and realize how ridiculous I can be at times. But for real. Moral of the story (haha pun.) it is a wonderful class.
the end of my random tangents and musings.
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