Monday, August 15, 2011

love life.

family. its about time.
so the other day i was at good old target killing time, looking at my new obsession. jewelry. and i came across this bracelet that i absolutely fell in love with. now there wasn't anything too special. it was just braided leather with a small pendent on it. but the words stole my heart. it simply said "love life." did i spend probably too much to adorn my wrist with such a phrase. yes.

my new mantra. love life. i found when you look for the negative you can easily find it. but the same is the other way. as you look for those little pieces of joy- they are everywhere.

things i love about my life.

my family. i adore them. we had a mini family gathering (i dont know if you could call it a reunion) this last week. it was fun to spend time with them, to play games, and just to laugh. becca and i went on a late night run on the country roads and it was perfect. catching up on her life since i left, getting to go for a good run, and running in the most serene place ever. perfection. on friday night we had an adult night. yes, i qualify as an adult. it started with the most delicious dinner at panera. oh that place. how i love it. it took me back to saturday road trips with efy where we would always stop at panera. i love the lack of grease, and the burst of flavor. ah heavenly. it was followed by a night of mini golf. can i just say that my parents have mad mini golfing skills. i swear they practice often- they made the most amazing shots. i was extremely proud to have them as my parents at that moment. another perfect "i love my life" moment was the hole that had a wheel to spin before you took your shot. the wheel would give you different advantages or handicaps for your first shot. priceless was the moment that the two grandparents both got the "granny shot." while we were having the time of our lives, so was the sky. and lightning and thunder were having a party, meaning we had to cut our game short. instead of gripping we were grateful to get away from the bugs, and it just meant we had time to go get ice cream. the ice cream was delicious- and life was just perfect.

look at that concentration

mini golf is not on my list of talents.

granny putt.
oh colonial. how we love thee.

friends. there is something wonderful about friendship. you can not see or talk to someone for months and as soon as you are back together it is like no time has passed. i dont know how it works, but i am so grateful for the friends in my life. i felt it at home and when i got back to Provo. I had a brief panic attack to becca one night where i was scared i wouldnt have any friends when i got back. everyone is getting married, and i have been gone. nothing was more comforting than seeing megan from work, and having her be excited and say how much she had missed me. over the summer i was introduced to FOMO (the condition of having a fear of missing out) and i have it all the time. as i saw pictures of people having fun, i had major FOMO. i realize i sometimes stress about things that i dont need to stress about, i blame my over analytical head. anyways. i was able to spend the rest of friday night with kaley and lauren, friends from high school. timing was absolutely perfect- lauren and flown in friday and we were all leaving saturday. one of those tender mercies. it was perfect to sit in her basement and just catch up. to talk about our lives, things we had experiences, hard times, happy times, new adventures, and worries. i loved it. i realize that i am a people person. well i have known this for a while. but i couldnt care less about what i am doing as long as i am with someone i love. i could have the craziest adventure in the world, but if i was alone it would mean nothing. another thing i love about going to lauren's house is the food. her mom will not let you not eat. at times it is problematic, but when giordano's pizza is involved it is heavenly.

road trips. 2 days. 1400 miles. 4 kids. it was a crazy two days. full of blow out diapers and lots of throw up. keri has deemed it one of the worst road trips ever. she was a saint and had to clean everything up, but there it was so funny as thing after thing went wrong. you couldn't help but laugh. at any moment you have two choices. to act or react. i felt like i spent a lot of my summer reacting. i would go along with others, instead of standing up for what i thought. i hate that. there is something empowering about taking control of a situation and choosing not to be upset, choosing to look for the silver lining. choosing to love life. while the road trip was absolutely crazy- it had its moment of pure beauty. while the midwest is flat and boring. it is gorgeous. there is a time of night when the sun is setting that turns everything to gold. we passed by fields of sunflowers that were the prettiest thing. and simple things like an irrigation sprinkler just seemed beautiful. we stopped at a rest stop in Nebraska and it was perfect. we took time to play on the play ground and walk around the paths. Ethan (the 18 month old) was as happy as a clam to be out of his car seat, and was as giggly as could me. it was one of the beautiful moments that you just cant help but be grateful to be alive.

music. i have new obsessions. its bad. andrew allen and andy grammer have topped the list. funny story of my life. i changed my facebook status to something along the lines of "andrew allen has stolen my heart" meaning his music. however, he is not common in any way shape or form. people thought a new fella had stolen my heart for real. like after like came in, comment after comment. i had a brief flash back to when a boy came up and thought i was engaged. after much deflection, i hope the world knows that i love andrew allen's music and i am not in love with anyone.

andrew allen's song. wait for it. love life.

his song. loving you tonight. oh how i love this song.

charlie. charlie is my car. i love him. a lot. he is a 2006 red toyota corolla. and even with the dent on the drivers side, he is perfect. i have missed him these last four months. (yes, i name and personify inanimate objects- it makes life happier) i struggled with not having any freedom over the summer. every moment was planned, or i had something i was supposed to be doing, or was in charge of making everyone happy. it was wonderful, and on paper is the perfect summer, and in many ways it was perfect- but it made for an exhausting summer, and i felt burned out halfway though, which made EFY hard, but still good. when we finally made it to provo we went and picked up my car from Carol (our somehow cousin who is the sweetest person in the world!) there was such a sense of independence getting back into Charlie. all my anxiety about having no freedom was gone. life was right. its funny how a car can do that. and its not like i didnt have access to a car while at efy, but having your own car back is the best feeling in the world.

i wont lie and say my life is perfect. but i love the imperfections. i love the lessons i have learned in my life through experiencing hard times. if i had to go back, i wouldn't change anything about my life. because i am happy where i am right now, i love my life, and changing anything in the past would change where i am now. are there things i want to change in my life? you better believe it. and i look forward to making my life even better. but i love living. i love the adventures we get have. i love life.

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