for the love of people.

I love people. When people ask the questions what do you like to do- often times among my answer is the fact that I spend most of my free time with people. Over the weekend both my roommates were gone and I hated having a quiet house. I love hearing their life stories, their hopes and dreams, their fears, I love it all.

Today was a great day because of people. I owed a friend money because of a gift we went together on- which was a perfect excuse to stop by. We sat on the couch and just talked and caught up on life before I had to leave. As I walked outside there was a group of people gathered talking. 30 minutes later I was back on track to go home.

The night was filled with FHE. (more people). We had an egg drop competition because of the easter season. I remember doing it in High School physics. Where before my head was full of ideas this time I was I was blank. Our design was a little... mismatched to say the least. It was a fun FHE, which went long. Very long. I was meeting people to go swim laps at 8 45, and we didn't finish until 8 50. I would run back to my room and start getting ready when there was a quick break. Such a good mom. right?

Swimming was perfect. I just love it- unfortunately the pool closed on lap 30 of the 33 we were aiming for. It was the worstest- they blew the whistle and I just wanted to keep going. But i stopped. after all I dont like it when people come to the window after we are closed- so I figured I shouldn't keep swimming when they are "closed". It just means that tomorrow will be a very VERY early morning. We have decided to wake up and go right at 6 to finish out last laps. wish me luck.

so my musings about life and people. i have noticed in my life that I like myself the best, or am most myself, around those people I know like me. The people who get excited to see me. It is these people that I know aren't judging me based on what silly thing I say or do. There are those friends who make me wonder sometime- and it is around them that I feel like I am trying so hard for their approval. I try extra hard to make a funny joke, which then isn't funny. Or I try to make myself sound thoughtful, and it comes out all wrong. Why is that? Why do I need everyone to like me? Well folks- it is because I like people. But it makes me questions myself- how do I make people feel? do I make them feel loved? comfortable? at ease? do people feel like they must fight for my approval? I hope this is not the case. And I hope I can stop worrying about whether or not people like me so I can just be myself.

That's all for today.