Monday, April 9, 2012

a night of history.

"There is a history in all men's lives."
William Shakespeare

"The universe is made up of stories, not atoms"
Muriel Rukeyser

this semester has been wonderful. i dont know how many times I have said it- but it is the truth. The work load has been extremely manageable and the classes insightful. This meant that while life got busy I was never stressed per say. Today I felt stress. I didn't like it.

I was sitting in Family Finance thinking of all I wanted/needed to accomplish today and was feeling my level of anxiety rise and happiness plummet. I had over booked myself and hadn't left time to work on a project that is due tomorrow. I sat there pondering my day and decided that I would miss my next class for "mental health" purposes. I always hate skipping a class- after all I am paying to learn, I might as well get the most out of it. But I couldn't handle being on campus. As i walked home I called my mom to say hi and check in. I told her how I was skipping my next class and went into all I had to do. As I listened to myself tell her the day that was ahead and what I needed to accomplish I realized that it wasn't that bad at all. So I instantly started to psycho-analyze myself. (I blame my major/minor for this). I immediately put it together. I hadn't slept well the night before and I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and my stomach was rumbling like crazy. It is amazing how our physical needs can affect our mood. I realized what was wrong and I was able to fix it. I came home, ate lunch, took a short 20 minute nap, and life seemed so much better. I was able to multi-task which made it even better. (Thank you Laurel for letting our friend date include going to the grocery store and watching me cook chicken). 

I came to a clear realization during the day where my priorities lie. I love people, and they are an important part of my life. The day that was supposed to be stressful, turned out to be quite enjoyable- not because I got everything done, but because I had meaningful conversations with friends. Laurel came over and we caught up as I made dinner, Mary and I went on a run and talked about everything (side note: we registered for the st. george marathon today- fingers crossed that we get in), dinner group was wonderful because everyone (minus holly) was able to come, and fhe was great. The night ended with a 5 hour conversation about dating histories. I now know Mitch and Ben much, MUCH better. As we sat there talking my mind would briefly wander to the project still looming over head. It would quickly dissipate as I focused on the people in front of me. My homework would get done, even if it meant not getting to bed until 3, but I didn't know when an opportunity to talk to them like this would come again. We had to move the conversation outside at midnight, and it continued in the cool spring night on the steps. It was perfect.

I feel like I have learned this last semester the importance of how we treat people, and the importance of being present. It is so easy to talk to someone while thinking of everything else you could be doing at that moment. People can tell when you aren't completely engaged in the conversation. It's the worst to be talking to someone who you can tell is just waiting to slip away- or the person who is constantly thinking of what they can say rather than listening to hear. Steven R. Covey put it perfectly when he said "seek first to understand, then to be understood." so my goal. to make people feel like they are my number one priority when i talk to them.

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